When this whole spiritual journey started, I didn't know where things were going to take me. I knew that I wanted to feel something, what that thing was, I was quite sure. I know I wanted to feel at peace with both myself, others I held close and the world around me. How this was going to be done was the question. I started reading and studying and talking to people. It was amazing what I learned and what was more amazing was what I learned about myself. I learned to love myself for who I was, not who I could be. It was an amazing feeling that I didn't think was entirely possible. Meditation helped bring me to this spot that I am at and I have to say this journey has been amazing.
Through all my studying, I kept coming across this word renunciation. I always played it off as not necessary or I would be able to allow things to happen and not renounce. BUT, I have learned that is truly not possible. I have learned that you cannot give your suggestions or feelings on topics that do not directly effect you. By doing so, you are directly or indirectly judging others and this is not right. You also do not know what people ulterior motives are. Regardless of the outcome, it can negative effects on you that you did not foresee. From this day forward, I will be working on the practice of renunciation. I will give my opinion only when needed but will not be getting involved in peoples decisions and peoples lives. You cannot trust people to always have positivity in their hearts, some are wolves in sheep clothing but you cannot tell this until it is too late.
This doesn't mean I am going to be a different person, this just means I am taking a step back from everyone and letting them get things together. I will listen and give opinions ONLY when asked but I cannot suggest what you should do. Unfortunately, I cannot take back the advice I gave someone special to me when I didn't know how wrongly it would be handled. I am also at fault for other reasons but these are things I will also learn from and live by to never do again. This entry was hard to write because of the emotion I have behind it. I didn't want to be too descriptive but I also didn't want to be so vague that I lost everyone reading this.
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