This is the new Bean, Part I

First of all, thank you for checking this out. Unlike most of my other endeavors/commitments, I will stay on top of this and update it as much as humanly possible. This will not only be informational to you, but also therapeutic for me. I am just 5 years late on the blogging front. I am sure a lot of my friends will read this and think this isn’t really me typing. It is, I am just being serious for once. I will slip the occasional dick and fart joke in just to keep you on your toes (or a pants pooping story).

Secondly, this will be the longest thing I have written since I graduated college. But at the same time, I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, hell; I am not the same person I was 6 months ago! I guess that is the point of this. You need to know who I was in order to know who I have become.

Lastly, you may ask yourself, why he writing this? Because there are things you I need to say, get out of my head or clear my conscience before I can continue grow. Sounds weird right, imagine how it feels for me say it! I am the dude who laughs at accidents, doesn’t cry at funerals and make jokes about anyone and everyone. Will that change? Probably not, but you cannot fault me for trying.

Now, onto the real stuff….

THANK YOU!

I need to thank some people before I go any further. All of you that I speak to either daily or once a year please know that every one of you have a profound impact on my life. It can be as simple as saying hello or listening to me rant on and on about nothing. All of you helped shape me into who I am, but now its my turn to grow into who I can/should/will be. There are a super small group of people I need to call out. I will not use names, but each of you will know who you are.

Hawaii Posi Crew: When I received Amy’s invitation to her wedding, I was super stoked - both for her to be getting married and for me to get out of Jersey and see Hawaii. Little did I know, this was going to be one of the most important trips of my life. You guys saved my life. I mean this in the most serious and sincere way possible. Every single one of you that I met and spent time with changed me and saved my life. I cannot even being to think about repaying you for what you have done for me. I love every one of you more then you will even know. A piece of me is with every single one of you and I cannot wait to come back out to conquer the Stairway to Heaven.

The next person I need to thank is an extremely amazing young lady. She is one of the strongest and most sincere people I have ever met. She taught me that I am worthy of more then just being the loud one that makes everyone laugh. She knows both sides of me and showed me that I can become comfortable in who I am and comfortable around others without having to be the center of attention. People look at me as more then just the fat guy in the room. I have more to offer and I should be confidant in who I am. I can honestly say I have grown more in the last 9 months with your help than I have in the last 9 years.

Another person I need to thank is someone I hold near and dear to my heart. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. She has a way of centering me and bringing me back from the brink with her words. Whether I speak to her or she sends me a text message, she has this ability to make all the crap that gets me down insignificant and not worthy of my negative emotions. I have told you this a million times but thank you. I have learned so much from you. Your bravery and drive is an example I am honored to follow.

Lastly, my family. My whole life, I have looked up to my brother. He is my best friend in this world. We fought a lot growing up and went through many rough patches but he has always been there for me as much as he could be. I cannot wait to go to Europe on tour with you so we can just have a good time with limited responsibility. I wouldn’t want to spend this time with anyone else but you, even though you are a douche. And my parents, I put you through hell sometimes but you always forgave me and let me learn from my mistakes. You never forced me to be anyone but myself and do what made me happy. Seeing friends that are forced to live their lives in some image that is so far from their own, I am thankful for your support and hard lined tactics. If it weren’t for the both f you being so involved in my life and supportive of my choices, I would probably be turning tricks by now, possibly. I love you guys and I feel like I am an extension of each one of you and I couldn’t be prouder to be your son/brother.

Part II coming tomorrow!