EUROPE PART DUEX!

We had a ridiculously early van call the next morning because we had a "Chunnel" reservation for 8am.  The Chunnel is Train that runs in the Channel Tunnel and brings you and your vehicle into France.  After a much needed bathroom break (NORMAL URINALS! I hate the UK for the piss trenches.) we drove onto the train.  I decided it was time I catch a little sleep so I pulled my lawn chair out of the van and set it up in the train.  I must have looked homeless and/or retarded but I didn't care, it was comfortable.  There was a family of popped collars behind us in an Audi, the father had a pink long sleeve on.  Check FB, I took a picture.  I am sure I was White Trash to them.  I was woken up after what seemed like 2 minutes and we were in France.  The French countryside sells like cow shit, everywhere you go until you get into Paris.  I saw their Nuclear power plant, horrible graffiti skills and had my first legit French Baguette.  I am sure i would have insulted them when I slathered it with Peanut Butter but man was it delicious.  After 6 hours of driving and smelling feces, we made it into Paris.  The club that night was awesome.  It was called Batofar.  It was a boat docked in the channel and you play under the deck.  Technically you are playing in the water.  At one point, I knew the dudes were talking smack about us because they kept staring at us, laughing and talking in French.  We stuck it to them when we packed the boat and killed it.  The kids went off and ended up hanging out after the show outside the boat. But I just got ahead of myself…After we loaded in, Chris asked me if I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower.  I was pumped so PC and Ryan decided to come so the 4 of us hopped the train and went to the tower.  The train has no compassion for anything in their doors.  They slam closed and amputate anything in their path.  I know because I almost became Lt. Dan and lost half my leg in it.  We managed to piss off some french lady with the door debacle but if I was french, I would be pissed to.  After a very hot, stank ass train ride (apparently they like to smell their own stench) we made it to the tower.  That thing is huge.  It seemed so surreal to be standing in front of this thing that you always see in movies and pictures.  On our way to it, we stopped to watch this really homo erotic  break dancing that included dressing like women, nipple rubbing and hair humping that a few hundred people were watching.  Meanwhile, legit hip/hop break dancing was taking place 30 yards away and no one seemed to care… We decided we had enough and wanted to walk underneath the tower.  There was a massive queue for the trip to the top that we decided to skip it and head back to the train for the show.  Standing underneath it, you get a real sense of the massive size this thing is.  Its unreal and a true marvel.  PC decided to get his son Jack one of these mechanical dogs he saw these dudes selling.  As he got closer, he saw that the dogs were filthy and one didn't even have an eye.  He turned and walked away and then this crazy Indian dude kept trying to sell it to him.  After telling him to, well you know, he finally left us alone.  We made it back to the club for a great show.  We had a reservation at an F1.  An F1 is a mix between a Hostel and a motel.  Its a room with a bunk bed but no bathroom, only a sink.  It is pretty ghetto but interesting to see.  This is the same chain of hotels an unnamed person "Waffle Stomped".  I cannot tell you what that means but it consists of a shower drain, poop and a flip flop on a foot.  Most amazing story I have ever heard.  Puts all of mine in check and not sure they can beat it to be honest… 

Apparently in my sleep, I punch my brother in the face.  I was broken this info when i woke up the next morning.  I don't remember any of this happening, so I have to take his word on this.  After being punch back for my earlier actions, we headed outside to wait for the rest of the band.  We are then approached by some hooker who was leaving the "motel" asking us for a cigarette.  She was kinda pretty but she had all these sores on her face.  Pretty rank and I felt kinda bad for her, and in normal Catch 22 fashion,  we proceeded to knock at her when we drove past her while she waited for the bus.  We are dicks and grown-up children.  We headed out on the highway for the worst ride ever.  16 hours…in a lawn chair on our way to Spain.  We ended up making a "short" stop a few hundred KM from the Espana border.  The 1 hour stop turned into 3 so I pulled my SWEET chair out and setup camp on the sidewalk in France.  The looks I got were priceless, but for those of you that are keeping tabs, it has now become a 19 hour drive.    My home away from home no longer had a back or a stable foundation!  At the 2nd rest stop in Spain, the chair is launched out of the van and now I need to find a new place to sit..BUT what is this I see?  A huge building, no windows and a florescent sign blinking "Club Millennium".  What would you say that is, yes me too, a strip club, open in Spain at 2am (20 hours into the drive).  Everyone tells me to go "check it out", so i "unwillingly" oblige.  So here I am, a gringo, covered in tattoos walking into a strange club at 2am.  There are the tell tale heavy curtains in front of the entry way, the smell of bleach, perfume and broken dreams and BOOM…Its a M-F-ing whore house…i have never in my life, ran out of a place faster.  As i get back to the van, the NJ in me kicks back in…I am asked, "so was it a strip club" and my response was…"Nope, it was a fucking whore house and had a bunch of sketchy Mexicans outside"….The look on everyone face was priceless and I was berated for 10 mins on how they are Spanish, not Mexican and how I am racist…Dicks…We end up leaving this god awful rest stop and head towards Viverio, Spain.  I am now sitting next to KG who sits like he is is stirrups for a gynecological exam and quickly started to miss the lawn chair I have so recently loathed.  At 6am, we arrived at the hotel to find out it is sold out and no rooms are available.  Rooster pleaded with them and they agreed to give us 2 rooms that haven't been cleaned yet so we could get a few hours of sleep.  The rooms were sleazy but the beds were already broken in and there was a Beday!  I could get fresh and clean, the French way!    After a much needed 2 hours of sleep, We head over to the Futbol field where the festival is being held, I drop off the merch and head back to the hotel.  I get out of the van to check the front desk if they have clean rooms available yet and to pick up the keys.  As I walk out to the van, rooster decided to get revenge on me for, i am guessing, making fun of his use of the letter "hetch" or H to all of you NON queens English speakers.  As I am getting into the van he speeds away and I am now chasing the van around the hotel grounds.  I am being laughed at by the band, people at the pool and now members of No Use For a Name and Lagwagon and I pass their room.  I jump in the van and tell him to go fuck himself but it was funny.  We shower, get the band together and head back to the pitch.  Long story short, 8-10 thousand people were at the show and the 22 killed it and then the drinking began.  Chris and PC found the Jager, they got drunk but Ian got trashed.  Chris from Lagwagon comes over to me after Ian creeped out who I think was Joey Cape's GF or wife, not sure and asks if Ian would like a shot of some insane vodka that looks like Jager and tastes like "Satan's Semen".  Seeing that Ian is swaying like a flag in the wind, I tell him no he is OK.  I run to the gnarliest bathroom ever and when I come back, I see LW Chris with a bottle and they are clapping and laughing.  He comes up to me and tells me to "check out my boy!"  Ian is now standing by himself, doing double windmills slowly over and over again. Needless to say, we have to carry Ian out of there while both Lagwagon and NUFAN clap and laugh.  Mission Accomplished on their end but the joy of taming a beast has just started.  We have to continually throw Ian in the van over and over.  He wasn't ready to stop Raging apparently.  After much "convincing", he agrees to stay in the van and rooster can put him to bed.  As we are leaving Chris and I decided to steal not 1 for 2 new "thrones" for me to sit on in the van.  One is this massive white plastic chair (stolen by Chris) and I went with the classier wooden folding chair.  Thank god for chris because the wooden one was a POS.  Find out what happens to both chairs later on, it keeps getting better and better!  

We stop by Ian's room in the morning and there it is.  A mysterious gash on his head and a black eye.  We are all unsure of how it happened and he has no clue.  After some investigation, we decided that we make shit detectives and give up on the case and proceed to make fun of him.  We are a family and that is what families do!  We load into the van and head towards some city I cannot remember to fly to Barcelona and then fly to Russia.  

Part 3 SOON!  Flights to Russia and the Manchurian Candidate!  Its now turning longer and longer because things are getting better and better.  Also, sorry this thing is so choppy, so many things went on, its impossible to make them flow into each other!

EUROPE PART 1!!!

I have been meaning to update for a long time. I caught a lot of crap from friends (damn you Glenn and company) for not doing this sooner. Considering I have finally gotten over jet lag, my allergy attack is subsiding and my shoulder keeps dislocating…again this morning in my sleep…I have been a little preoccupied. But the time has come for me to put all my feelings down on paper for the world to read or any one who cares about the amazing journey I was on. This will be so long…I am breaking it up…3 parts. It is nice to reflect and bring it all in. I started to update while on the road but I didn't think it would do it justice! Thanks for being patient!

First and foremost, I need thank my brother Chris and the rest of the C22 crew. I saw and experienced things I may never have in my life. Who else can say they sang on stage in front of hundreds and hundreds of people in Russia, Germany, Belgium and the UK? Not many, but I did. It was awesome. And my brother also needs a little more recognition. He really has been amazing through my changes and also worked on showing me around Europe, even to places he had already seen. I wouldn't want to have taken that trip with anyone else. Thank dude, I love you.

Now, onto the good stuff. We had a 930 flight out of beautiful Newark Airport into Heathrow. 5 days prior to the flight, many of you know that I had a pants shitting/fire incident in my house so being without AC in 100+ heat made me ready to pack and leave and see what the world had in store…and I was ready for all of it. At least I thought I was. The flight was as uncomfortable as expected, except the free veggie meal was decent. Unlike US airlines that charge you for a drink of water. I sat next to a girl that had the state of NJ tattooed in her armpit. She ruled and we managed to make fun of everyone on the plane. It made time go a little faster even though it felt like it was crawling. We landed in Heathrow, gathered our bags, made it through customs and met up with our Tour Manager, Rooster. He looked like the bastard son of Captain Spaulding and the King from the 300 (sans abs) with the homer squiggly hair line tattooed on his scalp. I literally busted his balls the entire time and by the end, I think he found it endearing. He really didn't have a choice but he did get back at me many times…Making me run after the van in Spain and almost taking my knee/body out with the door at a rest stop in France. All in all, he was a great dude and totally missed.

The first show was in Brighton. As shore town in England which coincidentally, has a very huge gay community and unfortunately, we missed the lesbian mud wresting by a few days. But Chris did get a flyer for a Pre-Op Tranny hooker which he unknowingly advertised around the city on his bag. We explored the city a little bit, I had my first cup of proper English tea at a bar and then went to the venue. The show was at this club called the Hydrant and it was the first show with our homeys The Junk. Great band and an even better bunch of dudes. The turn out was good and the energy was great. It was an awesome way to start of the tour. Glenn made the journey from Maidstone to Brighton and it was really really good to see him. We had a couple shows with The Junk so we didn't have to say the sad good byes just yet. After the show, we headed to the Travelodge for a night sleep. 3 hours is better then nothing after being awake for almost 48. I blew my back out somehow, so the entire tour I was doing down dog to stretch it out. KG hated it because my ass crack was always hanging out. In fact, my ass crack was out the entire tour and by the end, I think he started to enjoy it. He did shove my 40oz Klean Kanteen down my boxers…Thats a good sign right?



The next morning, Ian looked like he got his by a bus, Rooster asked how the night was, as if he didn't know. I ate some breakfast at the Travelodge. Everyone in the band got the "Full Fry Up" which consists of eggs, potatoes, baked beans, sausage, bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms. I had cereal and yogurt which was surprisingly good for hotel food! The next show was in this small farming town called Norwich. Dirty Rev and The Skints played. The Skints were unreal. The show was amazing. Dirty Rev killed it and The Skints blew me away. The kids were great, it was hot as hell, but totally worth it. Had some delicious curry from some local Indian spot. We didn't really see or do anything in Norwich..it was a bunk city but still cool to see. the club however was a hole. Smelled like piss the ceiling was leaking and had no fans. the bathroom had a trench on the floor you peed into. Really weird. Somewhere between Nottingham and Norwich, I purchased this ghetto lawn chair to use the in van. It was so ungodly uncomfortable in that death trap, so the POS chair made it a little better…It wouldn't last long however….

The final show in the UK took place in London at a club called the Relentless Garage. It was this cool little place in the outskirts of the city. By the English version of the "Projects"…no where near as ghetto as the projects in the US. We loaded into the club and had many hours to kill…Ian tried to slam a warm beer and proceeded to projectile vomit out side the club. The majority of the band decided to go for a walk and stop at a pub for a pint. I stole a Guinness mug for Decker and had a Ginger Beer (alcohol free!) and steal their wireless. Ryan ran into Lone Star from The Planet Smashers, he stopped into the pub and said hello and left. I wanted to go to the British Boot Company for a new pair of Docs but we never made it. Everyone split off for food before the show. I grabbed the most delicious roll from an English bakery and some food from a local Health Food Spot - Hummus and Cheddar Sandwich and this Quiona salad. AMAZING! The Skints and The Junk played amazing sets. My friend Tim made it out to the show, it was good to see him and catch up on old times. I ended up hanging out a lot with both bands, exchanged contact info and promised to stay in touch. We all said our sad good byes but we made some good friendships and I offered my house if they ever made it out to the States. Those dudes are always welcome. This trip was looking to be just what i needed to unwind from the hell i call daily life. Amazing music, friends, family and adventure!

NEXT STOP FRANCE!

Part 2 coming tomorrow hopefully!

Day 2 and 3!

Apparently, the Internets in the UK is hard to come by. And since I am cheap and the exchange rate totally sucks, I will jack free internet anytime that I can. The shows have been amazing so far. Tons of kids every night but its been hot as hell...and no matter how crappy and how hot, it sure beats work, ANY DAY. This post is going to be weird and scattered and short. Sorry about this.

Yesterday, after the show in Nottingham, they had an after party for the band. Most of us ended up going and it was a blast. Music, hanging out and insanity ensued. A chick was passed out so i started to take pictures of her. Then I can called for an impromptu group shot with her (i will post pictures when I get home). We then had to carry a band member back to the hotel over 1.5 miles. It was just an amazing and releasing night. I was able to totally let go of work and everything to just relax and live in the moment. It was awesome.

Tonights show was in a farm town called Norwich. Ton of kids showed up but it was BY FAR, the hottest show I have been to in the longest time. A reggae band called the Skints played and I was just blown away with how good they were. They had a girl member who just kept pulling instruments out and played. It was unreal how talented she was and how good this band is. I spoke to them about doing a record with them in the states. It was awesome.

All in all, 3 days in and I can honestly say my mind is in a different place then it usually is. I miss all of you but I will totally make it a point to keep in touch with you guys and see all of you when I get home. Be safe and be well!!

Exhaustion Brings Clarity

I have slept 1 hour since 7am Saturday morning. It is now 8:44 pm GMT (1:44sm EST). In 6 hours, I will have slept for 1 hour in 2 days. Although I am completely exhausted and smell homeless, I am having a great time. Being so far removed from work is such an amazing thing. Seeing how completely different the UK is compared to the US is really eye opening. I now know I have lived such a "small" life. Never leaving the US or experiencing other cultures, it makes me regret not doing this sooner but doing this for the first time with my brother really makes it feel right. The people I have met both on the way here and in the UK really makes me realize that this is how it was supposed to work. For the first time, I have my eyes open to what is happening around me and I am seeing the signs I am doing the right thing. Also doing this on tour with Catch 22 is just amazing.

The day before I left, I spent a lot of time meeting up with friends and it truly felt amazing. I know that I am blessed with some of the greatest people and the fact that I can share what I am doing with them feels great. Talking to them about everything, hearing their opinions and similar feelings really help me with growing and reaching the next level. I know what I am doing is right on so many levels and the clarity I have in the present moment is refreshing and amazing.

When we landed in Heathrow, it was a decent wait to get through customs. We eventually met up with out Tour Manager, Rooster, and headed towards the first show in Brighton. We spent some of the day walking around the city and seeing what this place has to offer. It has a pretty cool Pier/Amusement Park similar to Santa Monica. The weather could not have been nicer, sunny and 70 degrees. So much better then the stifling heat I left behind in NJ. We grabbed lunch at this small fish and chips place. All I had was tea but it felt good to just sit and relax and just live in the moment. Something I am not used to doing considering work takes over 95% of my life. After lunch we headed to the venue, The Hydrant, to load in all the equipment and sound check. I set counted and set up the merch and got ready for the show to start. My good friend Glenn ended up driving almost 2 hours to the show and it was really awesome to see him. The show is still going on and I am sweating to death but stay tuned, more to come! I miss all of you and will see you all soon.

Carpet Matches the Curtains

The explosion of my AC fuse box and subsequent fire cannot stop this flow of positive energy that I have. The lack of AC isn’t really affecting me that much either. I think I am finally a spot in my life that I am content with everything that is happening. I finally have a grasp on the things that I let happen and brush off the things that will bring negativity into my life. This journey doesn’t seem to have a beginning or an ending but I know I am on the right path. The people that I have around me really give me inspiration to continue. Each apology I have made so far really makes me one step closer to who I am and where I need to be. Thank you to everyone that listened to what I had to say whether you understood where it was coming from or not and whether you felt like you needed one or even wanted to hear what I had to say. You did and I gave it to you. This process is not over. There are many more people deserving of it and I will get you each of you in due time.

I can finally say that I am at a point in my life that the Outside matches the Inside (or the carpet matches the curtains if you will). The truth really has set me free...

....untitled....

It is a great thing to be proud of who you are. Its another thing to be totally blinded by pride. Years ago, one of my best friends at the time and I had a huge falling out. We didn’t speak for many years over this. At one point, it got extremely ugly with multiple family members getting involved and it got completely blown out of proportion but at that the same time, you cannot fault family for sticking together. Anger and pride kept us from talking and working out our differences, it was also much easier to ignore it then to own up to being wrong. Things would change drastically and permanently one day.

I remember this day like it was yesterday and like the worst nightmare you can never wake up from. I was sitting at work and I get a messages that one of my closest friends for 10 years had killed himself. Accidental overdose. He had been suffering for years with depression and Bi-Polar Disorder. Sometimes you just do not know what to do for a friend that is hurting so much or what you can do to ease the pain. Immediately, flights were booked home from all over the world (Poland, Hawaii, etc), pick up of friends from train stations took place and we were just trying to get everyone together so we can both mourn and celebrate his life together as a family. It was a sad but beautiful day. It was a gathering of friends that are more like family you never get see. Unfortunately, it takes an event like this to get everyone together but due to the rat race of life, it’s almost impossible for everyone be in the same place at the same time. They had 4 viewings over 2 days for him and the amount of laughs and tears shared was overwhelming. Everyone got up and told stories about our friend, all the stupid things we did together, how he will be missed and how much we cherished the time we spent together. New friends were made and bond restored with friends long forgotten about.

On the way home from the first night of the viewing, my friend who I had fought with years ago kept popping into my head. While on the parkway, I swallowed my pride and allowed myself to become as vulnerable as I knew inside that I was. Fighting back tears, I called him to apologize for what had happened between us. The problems I caused with his family and how burying a close friends put things into perspective. When you lose a family member, and I treat all my friends like family, you need to surround yourself with those you care about, strained relationships or not. The next day, I saw him for the first time in years. We gave a friendly hug and gave each other our sympathies. It was nice to see him after so long and it was also amazing how events can bring people back together.

Is our relationships perfect and/or 100 % mended? Absolutely not. Our differences still stand to this day but at the same time, we can be friendly towards one another and have conversation that was once impossible years ago. If each of us worked on mending strained relationships, imagine how much better we would all be. If we can admit our wrongs and come to terms with them and those we have hurt, your life starts to take a totally different shape. With the amount of suffering that exists in this world, we should not be adding to it with petty differences but work together to help end it.

I have thought a lot about Paul Fuller over the last few months and the things he never got to see. Good friends Adam and Bonnie getting married and expecting their first child, Amy getting married with the Hawaiian celebration, numerous record release shows, tours, graduations and all of us growing old together. He brought us all back together and it’s almost like he fulfilled some sort of duty to bring us as a family back together. Ive never written about the loss of my friend Paul and I hope this little story does him a little justice. If it wasn’t for him, I would still be angry about things that didn’t matter. RIP Paul, you are gone but in my head and my heart. I took your picture back out of storage as a reminder of how fragile life is. I do not want to lose another family member to bring all of us back together and forgive wrongs done and done to us.

...Means to an End

I think one of the hardest parts of this process is looking inside to see all of the positive and negative things you have done. The positives are the easy part. Who doesn’t like to know how great they are, it’s the negatives that hurt and sting. I have been dong a lot of thinking and self-analyzing over this past year. Until recently, I found it so easy to just ignore all the suffering I caused, never making amends to anyone I hurt. Recently, I have been calling or contacting those I hurt to apologize and give closure to the both of us. I think closing unfinished chapters is really helping me move forward and come to terms with where I am in my life. I know this is still the easy part but it can get uncomfortable at many times. It also makes it so much easier and you feel so much better once it is out in the open and we both get closure. This will continue on until my list complete. But anyone who knows me, that is a long list.

Ill publicly state this also. Sorry to all you Smiths/Moz fans. I like them after giving them a chance…Moz solo is still unlistenable.